Test

Test

Styx - Fooling Yourself

Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

OK, Super Jews,

we all know the score. We're all on the same page. I'm on to your game. Let's cut the crap.

You read my material because you know you'll get the unvarnished truth from me. I will give it to you so that we can all figure out some solution to this mess.

More later. Hold on a bit more...

In this show--

I will teach you all how to engineer reality.

I trust you have already read what I had to say on the matter. I have refined my methods. I will teach them to you.

OK. Here's our new show.

The problem with the public format is that there were way too many people in that show.

There are a few factors in running any stand-up show:

1. Obviously, you have to be entertaining.
2. You have to control your audience. Beat down hecklers, etc.
3. You have to "herd" your audience from point A to point B without losing them.

What makes stand-up so aggravating is that the audience may be comprised of people of varying levels of understanding. I hate "dumbing it down." It takes too much of my time. I hate having to beat the daylights out of idiots like the Arizona Republic just because they're too stupid to understand the material.

This blog is private. I am the only registered poster and viewer of it. That means that officially, only I am here. But we all know better. With this show, I am playing to the select of the select: I am playing only to those who have access to the wiretaps of my web activity. I'm not a big fan of the eavesdropping, but at least we can have some fun with it.

With this show, the morons in the news media are excluded. We've booted them out of the back room of this shit-hole bar. By and large, they're too fuckin' stupid to benefit from the material anyway.

And I don't have to be concerned about offending and losing my audience; I've told them all to get lost. So I can, for example, say such things as "Yeah, I'm the best; go screw." (And I am extremely pissed off that the assholes in that public audience couldn't see fit to buying tickets. What do they think this is? Some kind of charity? How do they think people pay the bills?)

I am extremely fortunate to have the audience I have in this show, which I call "This Room Seats Fifty." Only the most powerful and well-connected people in the world are sitting in on this show.

I have a few goals with this show: To entertain you, to offer some advice, to beat the piss out of people who deserve it, and to give you some interesting behind-the-scenes glimpses of how a comedian prosecutes a show.

Now: Mr. Bush, you got yours, didn't you? Are you going to steal from me again? I will take special pains in this show to make you shine among your peers. But know this: I voted for you back in 2000. And then you turned right around and set about stealing my property. Obviously, that won't do. But chin up: I'll make this show good for you.

Alright, everyone. Thanks for coming. Let's keep this show our little secret...

Speak to me... Flag word: "chin up"

I am honored to have you. I do this because I love you --each of you, without exception. Know that.

Chris

Test

Test